Over the last few months, I have been exploring the many facets of my diagnosis. I have shared so much here and it has meant the world to me that I can be so open to the followers of my blog. It has also been a bumpy ride but hey I am still here writing and sharing my experience.
Lately, I have gotten caught up in the upcoming diagnosis/suicide anniversary that I forgot a major part of this whole experience. I am here because I am Bipolar. And I have to say thank you Bipolar Disorder.
I have found myself over the last few months. I have found the courage to share pieces of me over and over within the confines of this blog I have created. I have become The Bipolar Writer. My blog has been the way that I get through the worst parts of me. It is how I understand who I am as a person and who I am becoming as a writer. Without my diagnosis of Bipolar disorder, I am not sure who I would be right now.
I am realizing that my writing abilities over the last few years has improved because I have something that gives me experience unique to me. Sure, I deal with depression so dark and deep that I wouldn’t wish it on my best friend. I have trouble functioning on a daily basis because of crippling social anxiety.
And yet I am still here. I can write about some amazing things in my own experience because living through the worst parts of me, I can still tell my story to the world.
In the past, I have thought about what it would be like to not be me. I have imagined a world where I was a normal person. In all of those dream scenarios, I am not a writer. I can’t imagine a world where I couldn’t write. Even if I never become a well-known writer, it would be enough for me to just write.
My writing in fiction, non-fiction, and even my screenwriting is the result of living through some of the most painful experiences imaginable. My life with a diagnosis and writing is so much a part of who I am, it makes sense to say thank you, Bipolar disorder. The strength that I have shown over the last few months comes from my life with a diagnosis.
Writing has become so therapeutic in my life. My story has become how I get through life. I wake up every morning ready to take on the world and share another piece of my life.
So thank you Bipolar disorder, and thank you to all the people that make “The Bipolar Writer” possible.
Photo Credit: Mayur Gala