A Thank You to my Diagnosis

Over the last few months, I have been exploring the many facets of my diagnosis. I have shared so much here and it has meant the world to me that I can be so open to the followers of my blog. It has also been a bumpy ride but hey I am still here writing and sharing my experience.

Lately, I have gotten caught up in the upcoming diagnosis/suicide anniversary that I forgot a major part of this whole experience. I am here because I am Bipolar. And I have to say thank you Bipolar Disorder.

I have found myself over the last few months. I have found the courage to share pieces of me over and over within the confines of this blog I have created. I have become The Bipolar Writer. My blog has been the way that I get through the worst parts of me. It is how I understand who I am as a person and who I am becoming as a writer. Without my diagnosis of Bipolar disorder, I am not sure who I would be right now.

I am realizing that my writing abilities over the last few years has improved because I have something that gives me experience unique to me. Sure, I deal with depression so dark and deep that I wouldn’t wish it on my best friend. I have trouble functioning on a daily basis because of crippling social anxiety.

And yet I am still here. I can write about some amazing things in my own experience because living through the worst parts of me, I can still tell my story to the world.

In the past, I have thought about what it would be like to not be me. I have imagined a world where I was a normal person. In all of those dream scenarios, I am not a writer. I can’t imagine a world where I couldn’t write. Even if I never become a well-known writer, it would be enough for me to just write.

My writing in fiction, non-fiction, and even my screenwriting is the result of living through some of the most painful experiences imaginable. My life with a diagnosis and writing is so much a part of who I am, it makes sense to say thank you, Bipolar disorder. The strength that I have shown over the last few months comes from my life with a diagnosis.

Writing has become so therapeutic in my life. My story has become how I get through life. I wake up every morning ready to take on the world and share another piece of my life.

So thank you Bipolar disorder, and thank you to all the people that make “The Bipolar Writer” possible.

J.E. Skye

Photo Credit: Mayur Gala

27 Replies to “A Thank You to my Diagnosis”

  1. Writing IS very therapeutic. I’ve always wanted to write…since I was a little girl I was content to have a piece of paper and a pen or pencil. I could make up stories and just write freely. I would LOVE to write a book someday and am in the process of getting something together. My topic? Being a bipolar Christian. Sounds like an oxymoron, huh? LOL.
    Keep up the writing! I love reading your blog posts!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I like your idea. I think there is nothing wrong with being Bipolar and Christian. I always talk about how I am still alive even after my last suicide attempt, but I truly believe I am here because God wasn’t ready to let me go from this earth. I think your book idea would be a welcome thing for the mental health community.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thank you! And I think you’re right! God isn’t finished with you just yet! He’s got great plans for you!

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I suffer from depression & especially at this time of the year. Thanksgiving marks the anniversary of my almost successful suicide attempt 40 years ago. This year especially hard as my 33 year marriage is on the rocks. Years ago I rejected labels and all the psychological mumbo gumbo. Now my Christian faith sustains me.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Wow. I can imagine living with depression for that long. It means that you are a real fighter. It is amazing. I hope I can say that I have fought that long someday soon. Thanksgiving is always tough for me too. The emotions that came from my first suicide attempt and then the years of living with that darkness. I am so happy that your Christian faith sustains you!

      Liked by 2 people

  3. Sometimes, writing can be a life-line for letting out feelings and emotions, and over the years, I have learned this myself! Thank you for sharing. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. You know in times that I can’t get my head wrapped around a single thought or even a handful of thoughts at a time. I write. I read other people’s things and realize I’m no where near their abilities. But guess what? It doesn’t matter. Getting your thoughts on paper (or a blog) helps a lot. I’m happy to have found your blog which I still don’t understand how that happens – but you “meet” who you need to when you need to. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Thank you James, I really appreciate it. You don’t to be Christian or anything yeah, just wanted to take in consideration as I’m kinda stuck on the big decision.

        Like

  5. I relate very much with you man. Thank you for sharing so much if yourself. You are inspiring. I am trying hard to write out a few PTSD issues. I start to write and anxiety takes over… you are very brave exposing so much of yourself, thank you.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. I relate to that a lot, although I still get stuck wondering what life would be like if it were different. I remind myself that I wouldn’t have met the love of my life if I were a different person

    Liked by 2 people

  7. THANK YOU for this post. I’ve been struggling with my diagnosis for a long time and recently I’ve been really going through a dark period. Although I don;t have Bipolar disorder, I have propriospinal myoclonus (or at least that is my newest diagnosis, it changes every time I progress). But your words refreshed my mind. This disorder has given me strength and a new understanding of life, it has given me more empathy more love and more creativity that I would not have possessed if this had not happen to me. Thank you for reminding me.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Sometimes we just need a gentle reminder that though we have an illness it doesn’t define us, it makes stronger for tomorrow. Thank you for sharing here on my blog.

      Liked by 2 people

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