How I Feel in This Moment

Well, here I am. At the end of one journey, and another I am embarking on for the next ten years. Wow. Ten years. It’s amazing to have been on this long journey with the peaks and valleys, and with all my different issues fighting for attention on any given day, that I am still here. My social anxiety likes to control me one day, and my depression consumes me pushing me into darkness and abyss when it can.

I feel great about where I am right now. The tail end of the first ten years of “my diagnosis life” was never really great, and it had its darkness. But I am still here fighting the good fight. I have learned so many things over the journey, like how mindfulness breathing and CBT can help curb my severe social anxiety so that for a few hours a day, I can find solace outside my safe place at home.

Ten years seems like an eternity, and If you asked me ten years ago if I would be alive today, I would have laughed. The joke was on me.

This blog has become my place of solace. A place where for moments in time I can share my experiences with being Bipolar, and help people along the journey of dealing with a mental illness. The positive energy that I have received over the past few months has been the most amazing feeling a writer can get. When people tell me that I have inspired them to write because I am so open to writing down my story, well it makes me want to write even more here on my blog and in my memoir The Bipolar Writer.

I am excited to start a new journey. I always figured my life, if I were to write it all down, would be in sections of ten years. From here on out most of what I write for this blog will serve a future version of the Bipolar Writer, maybe ten years from now it will help me write part two of my journey. But right now my focus is on the hear and now.

What is in store this week? I plan on talking about what this week means to me, and how I felt about that week just ten years ago. I will share a short story, one that I wrote a long time ago called Angel on the Ward. It is a short story that meant a lot to me, and I hope it ends up in the memoir.

On the other side of this is the fact that I will be super busy. I need to keep my head down as I work towards my goals of just getting through this really tough week. It won’t be easy by any stretch of the imagination. In fact, I have some idea how bad my depression will get at some point this week. But hey, I will keep fighting.

J.E. Skye

 

If You Can, Please Support My Blog

The Bipolar Writer and this blog will be going through some major changes over the next couple of months. I am looking to expand what this blog does on a daily basis. I am asking for any donations from my fellow bloggers to pay for equipment (a laptop) to help with the issues with my current computer. Great things are coming and any little bit helps. Have a happy holiday season and a merry Christmas.

$1.00

Photo Credit: Johannes Plenio

 

11 Replies to “How I Feel in This Moment”

  1. I was meant to come across your post – I have no doubt. I relate deeply with what you have written here and I’m eager to read more. I’m new on this journey as a writer – a writer who struggles with mental illness, trauma, and more. Just reading a piece of your story, a bit of your words, encourages me to go on – to keep writing. To share. Thank you!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for taking some time to read my work. I am happy that it was written well enough to encourage you to keep writing. Always keep fighting and always keep writing.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Doesn’t sound ignorant at all. I don’t know much about Thanksgiving as it is something that seems very American to me. We don’t really have it in Australia, or anything like it at all. We don’t really have any unique holidays, it’s very disappointing 😛

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Okay. I wasn’t sure and that kinda sucks. I know it’s an American thing. It’s a great time lots of food and American football. It’s tradition every year.

        Liked by 1 person

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