Light in all the Darkness

All it takes is a little faith for some sunshine to come through the darkness.

I made the decision to forgo blogging today. What was the point? I never I had to go see my psychiatrist today, the same one that told me I had to just deal with the prescriptions that are given to me.

My last appointment lasted about two minutes, and I was wary that anything was going to get done today. So I didn’t write. I felt lost. Overly anxious all day.

On three different occasions since I woke up this morning I have felt as if I should just cancel the entire day and not go to my appointment. Three times I convinced myself that I really needed to go. Finally, about an hour before my appointment I committed to going but my anxiety was high.

For once I wasn’t disappointed.

My doctor listened and we had a conversation about my anxiety. We came up with temporary solutions like increasing my Ativan and changing how I take my Seroquel at night. We talked about working on my CBT every week again with my therapist. We had a real conversation.

We talked about me getting an anxiety dog (which I will be looking into next week with the therapist.)

For the first time this year, I left my psychiatrist appointment with some real hope. It is amazing what a little faith can do. Moments before I went to my appointment I made another decision. To really talk to my doctor and not get frustrated.

I have a lot of work to do over the remainder of 2017. I have big plans for 2018. I am going to get back on track with CBT. I am going to focus on not needing the Ativan and taking it at the right times during my day. I am going to keep writing because let’s face it, that is what got me through the last few weeks.

I finally have some light in all my darkness today.

I will write another post next week updating my progress. My blog posts from here on out will be on other topics.

If you have a mental health topic covered in my next post feel free to drop me a comment.

J.E. Skye

If You Can, Please Support My Blog

The Bipolar Writer and this blog will be going through some major changes over the next couple of months. I am looking to expand what this blog does on a daily basis. I am asking for any donations from my fellow bloggers to pay for equipment (a laptop) to help with the issues with my current computer. Great things are coming and any little bit helps. Have a happy holiday season and a merry Christmas.

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Photo Credit: Tyler Lastovich

16 Replies to “Light in all the Darkness”

  1. I know that can be so hard to go to something like that when your anxiety is so high, so that is amazing that you made it! And it’s inspiring. I often talk myself out of stuff because of my anxiety and then I always feel extremely guilty after and obsess about it for weeks, sometimes months. Thanks for being a light to me today!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. So glad you went and it went well. That is a great feeling to have some steps to take. I know that helps with my anxiety when I have some plans to try to make it better.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I’m so glad your appointment went well. I have a good feeling about the benefits of having a service dog in your life. Ted prevents my having panic attacks in public, and let’s face it, he keeps me tethered to this life as well. I’m praying for you! Keep writing!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Well done for making it to your appointment. That sounds like it was a huge achievement. But, more than that, you have some positives to focus on now. I know it won’t be easy, but there is hope. There’s always hope. (By the way, an anxiety dog? That sounds fab. I’ve never heard of that before.)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s a service dog, like those who help the blind. But these dogs are trained to help people with anxiety. They can detect if your anxiety is high and bring you medication. They can bring you your phone to call 911. But most of all they are just a presence in a suffer of anxiety. I don’t know much about it but it sounds interesting.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. That does sound interesting. I have a dog, and he definitely helps me to calm down. Not that he’s trained or anything. But I can imagine what a good idea it is.

        Liked by 1 person

  5. I’m happy you kept your appointment and were able to have a chance to talk things out. That’s exactly what you needed. I’m glad you have some big plans for 2018, and are staying positive! An anxiety dog may wind up being a great companion if you go down that route

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Big things 2018. I am really buying into the service dog for anxiety. I meet with my therapist next week to discuss it. It was a good thing I kept my appointment.

      Liked by 1 person

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