My Fourth Honest Post

I have had a lot of time to reflect today. After last nights panic attack that almost landed me in the hospital, I spend most of the day in bed, mostly thinking about the causes of my anxiety.

It’s funny. I have been working toward so many goals this year. I started this blog because it was a requirement for a class I was taking. It was creating my writer’s platform. A place to share the parts of myself that were both as a writer and as someone with a mental illness. It has been an amazing journey for me. The people that have touched my life through their own sharing of their own stories.

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I have tried to create a blog much like what The Bipolar Writer in the past, it has become over these past few months something I have never imagined. I had no expectations that this place would become a place to really talk about mental illness, not just my own story.

I never thought I would be an advocate. I mean three years ago I thought I was done with writing. Even with working on my degree in creative writing, I always thought I would teach.

I think it was my first writing class that really restarted my love to write. My first short story I wrote early on in my college career turned out to be the difference to who I am as a writer now. It was a short story called Memory of Shane.

It would be sometime before I decided to start to take screenwriting classes. It was really just a reason to hone my craft. I had been writing a lot of short stories, I was working on an unfinished manuscript, I and thought why not try a hand in screenwriting?

In my first screenplay class, I wrote a fifteen-page short screenplay where I learned to write an entire story (three acts) from start to finish in such a short space, and it really helped me as a writer.

I decided to really give screenwriting a chance and in my next two classes, I wrote the first two acts of what became my screenplay Memory of Shane. It was the first time in my life that major parts of my life story became the inspiration to write about mental illnesses. But the story in Memory of Shane, while mirrors parts of my life, it was a fictional story.

I came up with an idea. I could really share my own story, but I was worried. My story out there in the world under my real name, it scared me to death. It was one of the reasons why when writing the third act of my screenplay that I started to design what became my pseudonym, James Edgar Skye.

When I finally finished my screenplay and editing it all this year it was time to move on. I wanted to do two things. Launch my writing career and find a place where I would feel safe writing my story so that I can write my memoir, something that I wanted to do for so many years.

The Bipolar Writer is my place to share my story. It’s been amazing how so many people have touched my life by sharing their own stories on my blog. It even gave me the inspiration to share the stories of others in feature articles. The feature articles on Morgan and Tony are just the beginning of what an I hope to be a long series.

My last thoughts today are about my memoir. It has been coming along great and I am close to a first draft. It worries me. I have shared so much on the blog and there is still more to my story. I think that’s what was worrying me last night.

The future. It’s always scared me.

Four years ago I never thought that I would be close to getting my bachelors degree.

Seven years ago I was laying in the hospital wanting to change, and here I am, doing the thing I love, writing.

It’s amazing where I have been. Last night wasn’t a step back. I won’t let it. I suffer from panic attacks and it’s a part who I am, and I am working so hard on telling my story.

So as we near closer to the end of the year I want to say that to every person who has following my blog, thank you. It is that support of everyone on my blog that has become the reason why I continue to write. I feel as if The Bipolar Writer and those who follow me are a part of my life.

I will be writing a lot over the next few weeks. In coffee shops no doubt, and I really feel like my entire story is ready to be told.

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Always Keep Fighting.

J.E. Skye

Photo Credit:

unsplash-logoClark Tibbs

unsplash-logoErnanette Carolino

unsplash-logoBRUNO CERVERA

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28 Replies to “My Fourth Honest Post”

  1. Hey there! I’m happy that there are a significant number of people who are open and honest about topics that most would find uncomfortable.

    Any kind of mental complication is often avoided due to the fear of others judging them.

    As a traumatic brain injury survivor, I can very much relate to the anxiety attacks. I never used to get them. I had no idea how intense they can be! (which you understand)

    Thank you for the honest post and God bless!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I never imagined how intense a panic attack can be. Experiencing them over the years has really gave me a new understanding just how powerful thoughts can be.

      Like

  2. Beautiful post. You are an inspiration to me to keep writing, even as my health gets worse. It gives me something to aim towards. Thank you for reminding me to not give up on my dream of being a screenwriter. I really needed it today. You are truly amazing!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Congratulations on your progress and living your dream. I admire your ambition and that you have a direction for your blog. Although I have a prpose fo mine, i think I still searching for what it really is. And coffee shops all the way!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I think it’s wonderful that you are able to both share your story and your struggles while also finding a therapeutic medium through writing. It’s sad that mental illness is still such a taboo topic despite all the other progress the world has made. People are afraid of what they don’t understand. I’ve alluded to my own battles in my blog but still haven’t had the courage to put myself out there completely. You are very strong to share your story with all of us and are not doubt helping many people, even if they don’t tell you so. We need more people like you to help shed a light on the inner battles so many are fighting alone. Keep doing what you’re doing, I wish you all the happiness and success you deserve. May 2018 be the best year yet!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for your kind words Andrea. Writing really is an amazing therapeutic tool in life. I hope that you find the courage to share your own story. I will continue to do my best to share my own so that the topic of mental illness becomes less taboo.

      Liked by 1 person

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