My Social Anxiety Life Part Nine

In the course of writing my blog, I have talked in great detail about my social anxiety. My series “My Social Anxiety Life” has spanned over eight parts. I will link the last three at the end of this paragraph. In Part nine, I want to talk about what is social anxiety. I will write through experience as always, but I will get technical as it pertains to my own social anxiety. It can be different for each person that suffers from social anxiety.

Part Six

Part Seven

Part Eight

My Social Anxiety Life – The Series

My Social Anxiety Life Part Nine  – What is Social Anxiety?

These are my thoughts on social anxiety.

What is social anxiety? To me is it’s an overwhelming anxiety in all social situations. It is a constant self-consciousness feeling. It is a feeling of the people around you judging your every move. It’s going over every scenario in your mind that could go wrong. It is every situation that brings you beyond your safe place. Its fearing doctor’s appointments, going for a cup of coffee or going to the movies.

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It’s a chronic fear of humiliation before you step outside your door. It can be overwhelming, and the biggest part of social anxiety? It’s not leaving your house for long periods of time.

This is how my social anxiety life is from day today. It includes some of the worst anxiety that always leads to my worst panic attacks. In my experience, my social anxiety has been the hardest thing I deal with on a daily basis. I can get myself out of most depression cycles. During Christmas, I had to deal with a small depression cycle, but I got on the other side of it.

My social anxiety is different. It could mean me canceling plans at the last minute. This happens more than I would care to admit. The chronic nature of social anxiety is taking any positive thinking and distorting it in negative thinking. Catastrophizing thoughts seem to consume. The fear of social situations become my every thought. The distorting of every thought that running through your mind can turn in to severe anxiety. It can end in a never-ending cycle for weeks or months.

The question then becomes this, can social anxiety be dangerous?

The answer is yes, it can be. Negative thoughts associated with social anxiety can lead to a negative feeling towards people. In my life, my social anxiety has to lead to isolation and I have lost most of the friends I accumulated in my life. I still have people that care, but for the most part, people avoid making plans with me. My friends know that any plans that they make with me are never set in stone.

The worst part? The isolation that comes with social anxiety can lead to depression.It can become an endless cycle of anxiety and depression. Withdrawing from society was very hard for me. Even though I prefer the isolation being introvert it can be hard to deal with the daily grind. I lost three years of my life to the constant depression and anxiety. My social anxiety was the underlying factor. I wish I learned early on to just breathe.

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I can’t count how many times my social anxiety landed me in the hospital. It took me years to get my anxiety under control after my last suicide attempt in 2010. Even then it became an issue again in 2016. Since then I have to try to find my triggers and 2018 is going to be the year that I get it back under control.

This is what social anxiety is for me, it’s my social anxiety life.

I have captured what social anxiety is in my life. My question to my fellow mental illness bloggers that deal with social anxiety is this. What does social anxiety mean in your life? How would you describe social anxiety?

Always keep Fighting.

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J.E. Skye

Photo Credit:

unsplash-logoToa Heftiba

unsplash-logoJoshua Earle

unsplash-logoRares Peicu

unsplash-logoAdam Jang

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19 Replies to “My Social Anxiety Life Part Nine”

  1. I haven’t been diagnosed with social anxiety, but I’ve been diagnosed with general anxiety. However, I feel a lot of the same things you do: I don’t order delivery because I’m afraid to deal with strangers; I hate having to pay a cashier who I don’t know because I feel awkward and fearful and afraid that I won’t be able to use my debit/credit card correctly. Mine takes effect mostly when strangers and new environments are involved. Thanks for sharing, James.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. It can be crippling having these feelings every day. It’s worse for me in the winter months where my anxiety is through the roof most days. In the summer and spring months I deal with my social anxiety much better

      Liked by 1 person

      1. It has helped me tremendously to hear other people describe precisely how I feel. I’ve always judged myself harshly. I am learning to love myself and my quirks. I’m a work in progress but I am gaining confidence every day.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Social anxiety was a huge issue for me throughout middle school, high school and even college. My first year of college was the worst. I would explain it mostly like you did. It’s a fear of being judged, watched, mocked, and humiliated. It all started for me when I became a perfectionist as a child. Obsessed with cleanliness as well, and dealing with bullying of peers. I got sick in class a lot and people would laugh at me. It followed me for 7 years, the same fear of people. However it has left for at least 2 years or less. My coping mechanism is realizing that we are all humans, we all have similar experiences, humiliations, fears, body functions and so on. Meditation helps a ton too. Doing so before bed, and before something stressful. Directing the mind in another direction. I would say distractions work, but to battle and conquer these things, I have found that facing fears helps most. Taking baby steps like speaking to a cashier, talking on the bus, there can be even smaller steps than that. It’s a long process but it gets better even when it sucks. Social anxiety has ruined a lot of my child to teen years, I decided not to let it hurt and control me throughout my young adulthood. Good luck, there’s always support near, and light at the end of the tunnel

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Social anxiety can totally be all consuming and a dream crusher! CBT really helps me with anxiety and depression, although it takes a lot of introspection. Have you looked into this kind of therapeutic teaching?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes. I am in a CBT program. My social anxiety has been too high for me to continue during the winter months with my therapist but I am hoping to get back to it in the next few weeks. I have written on CBT on this blog.

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  4. I often say to people, “no guilt – no pressure”, because I need that same freedom from constriction. I need to be able to change plans, say “no” to something I already agreed to do, and value my limitations and abilities when I sense greater expectations placed on me that I am capable of meeting with my mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical health intact.

    It is helpful and comforting to read your transparent post, and the comments from those who understand too well. We are not alone in our lonely battle.
    Thank you for encouraging me to keep fighting today.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You’re welcome. That is my goal. To always keep fighting. It’s important that we all know that we have to keep fighting this fight. Thank you for sharing a piece of your life with me and my blog.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Sorry for my bad english, I’m from asia. I believe I also social anxiety. Due to financial constraint, I have yet to meet any doctor. The thing is, I am naturally a quite person. The way I was raised changed me. Being raised by a verbal and emotionally abusive aunt & her jealous daughter turn me into a bitter person. I was a bubbly child and now I’m just an introvert who acts stupid in social situation. People rejected me, even most of my husband’s relatives rejected me. I wanted to be normal again so bad. I also dream of becoming a screen writer like but I doubt I’ll be able to mingle with actors or directors to get the job done. I hate myself for it.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Never let them get to you or prevent you from chasing your dreams. Mental illness should never stop you. I have been there so many times. I am sorry to hear your story, but you are worth it. You never know until you actually try when it comes to trying to be a screenwriter.

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  6. *sorry, what I meant is, I am not a naturally quite person. Sorry for the typo error. A bit hard to type in a phone.

    Liked by 1 person

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