Depression Poetry

I wrote this poem on April 3, 2015. I was in a dark place. I was close to suicide for the first time since 2010. I had been mourning my grandfather and my life was in a bad place. I was in the depression cycle that started in the summer of 2014 and didn’t end until the summer of 2015. I haven’t had a depression cycle quite as long as this cycle.

This poem is one of my more darker free thought poems. I just wrote what I was feeling.

This poem came weeks before I started therapy.

My Darkest Depression

I know it has been a long while…
I have been lost.
And even tittering on the edges of suicidal thoughts.

It has really just been that way.
I am so afraid.
So afraid of what could happen.
What might happen?
The truth?
I am going down a road that I may never come back from again.
It scares me to death.
I know the signs and yet here I am.
I am really just a mess so much lately.
Most nights I really want to cry.

So I cry myself to sleep.
Wishing that I don’t wake the next day.
Yet, here I am.
Awake again. Another day. More struggles.
I often think that God hates me.
That I hate myself so much that God has given up on me.
Let’s face it, I would give up on me.
It is a wonder that no one wants anything to do with me.

Is there something I can do, probably not.
My life is this mess, the mess I created.
The Chaos.

It’s not gonna change—I tell myself that every night.
It has become me, my past is present. It might be my future.
What does all this mean anymore?
I continue to perish in the darkness. Forever.
Darkness, my best friend, and worst enemy.
Depression my familiar companion, you never leave me.

by James Edgar Skye




Please Help me Publish my Memoir

I am getting close to finishing my memoir “The Bipolar Writer” and I have decided to go down the self-publishing route. If you can donate anything towards my goal, it would mean the world to me. Those that donate will get a special mention in my memoir.


Photo Credit:
unsplash-logoBen Blennerhassett

83 thoughts on “Depression Poetry

  1. Wow… I thought I was in a bad place now. After reading this, I know I’m not that bad. The memories that you brought here to me, resonated all the fear and utter depression I felt back in 2014-2015. You just took my breath away while reading this.
    God Bless you for never going through with all those horrendous thoughts.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. I’m sorry, I didn’t read all the comments. In fact, I have heard such things of depression, and had such a minimal sample of it, that I was so scared to read this poem that I almost didn’t. In any case, you sounded really shallow, soulless, and distant–all characteristics of depression. But that might just be me being spared for some reason. “The Chaos” triggered in me, as I deal with it, through other people, so constantly. Which is ironic, as depression seems to me to be an isolation disease (no one helps you), whereas Chaos is to me, from other people (I live with psychosis–which is just other people misbehaving in your head in unbelievable ways–plus the occasional (sometimes frequent) uncontrollable meaningful socially communicable muscle spasm). So I find the contrast somewhat confusing. Was the Chaos from other people? But you said you caused it? So why would you be depressed–did you control other people into leaving you alone so much that when you needed them they weren’t there for you? Sorry. That’s too accusatory.

    In any case I think that’s all I wanted to say.

    Thanks for the poem. Hoping for a more raw read-through at some point–out of benevolence.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. My chaos is me. I made things worse by letting the depression overcome me. By that time I knew what depression was and how it effected me. No matter what I did my life was chaotic but it was my chaos. I let it in as I often do. I hope that make sense. When I wrote it 2015 it was how I felt.


  3. We all go through hell buddy and i really i hope you see more brighter days than dark.
    Heres what im doing
    Hi., My name is Barry.

    I’m a big reader of self help and personal development books. I’ve read and listened to loads now with out putting action in to the words I read/listen too

    I decided in January 2017 to start recording my journey and see what I could learn from setting my own goals targets and really pushing myself. I decided it was important to wait a year before publishing any post and my dairies. Well this is where I am now!

    It’s been a rocky trip and I talk about my battles with alcohol, drugs, anxiety, depression, work and feeling alone! Its not all bad and I have many highs too but ultimately I’m sticking to a commitment I made myself a year ago. A project for change to help me and others.

    A Year Ago Today

    Liked by 3 people

  4. Wow… This is crazy. I lost my grandpa in 2015 and that year was where the worst of depression started. I relate to your poem so deeply. Truly beautiful! I never believe time healed all wounds but it sure does help doesn’t it? Love your writing style. >

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Such a beautiful poem. Loved the way you’ve portrayed depression. Always remember that darkness doesn’t always remain. There is always an end to the darkness so all that we got to do is have hope and be very strong.

    Liked by 3 people

  6. You know what’s the nest thing, you’ve let your feelings out through these words and formed them into verses. 🙂
    Congratulations 🎁🎊 for being so strong in your hard time! Your strength is appreciated! You have proved that you are strong enough to live life and gain all wonders! ✨ You deserve all great happiness that life has to offer. Keep smiling. 😊 Stay blessed. 🌟 Stay strong 💪 and let the positivity flow!! 🎉

    Liked by 3 people

  7. Brother, good write. God never give up on us but sometimes he beat us into submission so he can really show us what is his will for us: to overcome not to be overwhelmed. But writing is always good for the search of the will, keep writing.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. I’m interested! I think it’s so good to read about other people going through a similiar journey because a lot of people don’t understand and it makes you isolate yourself more. I’m so curious to know about how people recover / cope – is is holistically or is it with the aid of pharmaceuticals?

        Liked by 1 person

  8. I can totally relate to what you’ve felt. I’ve never had up and down period in my depression however because I’ve always been depressed. I appreciate you sharing even your suicidal thought because it take strength to tell people how you feel, especially when you have such strong emotions. I promise I will donate to you as soon as I can because you have talent and even if you didn’t who am I to deny someone’s dreams. I believe you will find success on your path continue on…maybe ill catch up one day.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I sadly relate to this a lot, I just joined after writing a letter to my partner explaining how my depression felt, and i realized that a lot of people would benefit from an explanation such as mine. I decided to post it here but in all honesty I’ve never felt so vulnerable. Thank you for sharing this.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. I sadly relate to this more than I wish i did. I just joined after writing a letter to my partner explaining how my depression felt, and i realized that a lot of people would benefit from an explanation such as mine. I decided to post it here but in all honesty I’ve never felt so vulnerable. Thank you for sharing this, you’re a gem.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. This is so beautiful, i feel like it was very brave of you to post this, because you’re exposing yourself in your most vulnerable way possible, and i am glad you did. People who feel like this and read this will know their not alone and that there is hope after all.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much. That is what I wanted to express in this poem. The real me. depression is a part of me. It’s never fun but writing about it makes it easier. I don’t consider myself brave but rather just one voice of many in the mental illness community. I don’t mind showing my vulnerability if it helps others. Thank you for your kind words.

      Liked by 1 person

  12. I so relate, I am up and down with depression and suicidal thoughts. I have taken up alternative approach for it and I am staying on an even steady flow at the moment. Keep up the good work. Hope you are ok for now. All the best wishes.


  13. A beautiful poem. Who says sadness doesn’t have beauty? Having read this, I could say I have been through 70% of such a kind of phase. I can understand every bit of it. You write beautifully. Keep it up. Keep Smiling. 🙂


  14. Nicely done and I can completely relate to your words. I too have bipolar 1 disorder and have reached severe suicidal depression too many times. Thank you for sharing and I am very happy you are doing well now. Hugs, Sue


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

About James Edgar Skye

I am a novelist, screenwriter, and blogger. I have written a screenplay entitled “Memory of Shane” and working towards the completion of the novel version. I am also writing my memoir “The Bipolar Writer" which also serves as the name of this blog. I also write feature articles on other members of the mental illness community on my blog.