This past week was the toughest week for me in 2018. I struggled a lot to stay focused because of being very sick to start my week. I had very lofty goals, as always for my week, and I achieved some of them. Still, I have felt a bit overwhelmed for the first time this year. It happens to me, and I knew going into this year it isn’t always going perfect weeks non-stop energy and work. I won’t always meet my goals, much like this week. I can take comfort that despite muddling through this week, it wasn’t unproductive.
I wasn’t at my best this week. There were times where I felt that I should skip writing a blog entry for a couple of days this week. The posts I did write weren’t always my best work, but somehow I kept writing. I was riding a good streak of positivity over the past few weeks. But, some doubts crept in this week into my mind, but I persevered for the better.
I hate the feeling of being sick, but yesterday I started to feel better, and I am looking forward to this next week. I am coming closer to finishing my big freelance project. I have two major goals this week outside of my freelance project. My first is to continue to work towards completing my school work. The second is to start putting together the first draft of my manuscript for my memoir The Bipolar Writer. I have so many chapters it will take me awhile to organize it in order. I wish I could afford to have someone do it for me, but I don’t have that luxury.
I learned something about myself this week that I find very interesting. I learned that I can still be productive even when life is trying to take me down. When I am on the fringes of depression taking me over yet again, and when I am muddling through my week it doesn’t mean I have to depression take me back over. It helps to do what you can and let things fall as they may. This life is too short let stress or anxiety take you over.
Yesterday I did have a major increase in anxiety that led to a panic attack. It sucked. For a few hours, I was lost in it until I got it back under control. It’s been a few weeks since I had one of those, but I got through it the best I could. I spend so much time writing and then I rested for the remainder of the evening.
The Bipolar Writer will have some bad weeks in 2018. It’s a given when you live the life of being Bipolar. The extremes get to you. But, when this year is all said and done, I will be able to say that in spite of my Bipolar life, I still accomplished my goals. I will continue to share my experiences with my the followers of my blog.
Happy Monday, from The Bipolar Writer. Remember. Always Keep Fighting.