How Does Depression Affect Your Relationships

Living with a major depressive disorder is hard. Some days You are fine and other days your symptoms come back and you go back to that deep pit again. The worst part of having a depressive disorder is how it affects your relationships. Recent studies show that most of the people who have major depressive disorder have social anxiety. They cant just go out and talk to people like normal people do. They cant just laugh all the time because not all of us can fake laughs and pretend to be all fine when actually we are not. They cant make friends that easily. They cant face so many “how are you.” because not all of us can lie and say “yeah I’m all good” when we are not. Sitting in the lecture hall and not being able to focus even if you try, zoning out in the middle of conversations, forgetting things and so much more, all these things make people with depressive disorder insecure.

They think they are dumb. When in reality they might be the strongest people because of whats more courageous than fighting your own head. Depressed people cant open up to everyone like normal people do. As soon as the depressive phase comes in we just go back to our own little world, withdraw from people, avoid them as much as we can, even if we love them. When I go through my depressive phases I usually stop talking to people. I start ignoring all the texts on my WhatsApp, I cut off from social media for a while and sometimes I even turn off my phone for a day or two, because of im just not able to face so many people and reply to all the texts and joke around like my normal friends do. And you know whats worst? I can’t even tell them that I’m miserable today. And sometimes I would become grumpy or angry without any apparent reason and would stop caring about anything and would just take out my anger on anyone I talk. That sucks. Being a slave to your own mind.

I know it because it’s not just my friends, it also affects the relationship with my parents, I just suddenly become oblivious to them and I would say things I don’t mean. And then I curse myself for making them worry too much for me. It’s like I care and I don’t care at the same time. It’s like I want to talk but I don’t want to talk at the same time. And when you get back from these phases you don’t even know what to tell people, why weren’t you picking up their calls or not replying or why were you being grumpy lately. Then they think you were ignoring them on purpose and then things get worse. 

People with depression know that their mental illness is affecting their relationships but they are powerless to do anything about it. They feel like a burden on their parents/friends/significant others and this makes them feel more guilty about themselves.there is this fear of abandonment that doesn’t leave. Sudden bursts out and anger issues are common.

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Depression leads to self-doubt, it makes you feel worthless and flawed and you either think you don’t deserve people around you or you think they don’t care enough for you when in reality these are just the negative thoughts that roam around because of your depression. Just know that nobody is perfect. Not even normal people. Think about small things that make you happy or relieved. My doctor once said this to me and I told him I can’t because I don’t like anything, there is nothing that makes me happy. He gave me one of best answers. He said does having a glass of cold water makes you relieved during this blazing summer? And I was like yes. And then he was like yes it’s THESE little things.  

Photo Credit:

unsplash-logoAlejandra Quiroz

unsplash-logoClem Onojeghuo

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40 Replies to “How Does Depression Affect Your Relationships”

  1. Wonderful description of what we go through. I feel guilty all of time. I know it’s hard for my family to deal with me. I try so hard to be “happy” but some days to feels impossible. Thank you for sharing

    Liked by 4 people

  2. I experience something similar, except rather than feeling anxious I intensely dislike the feeling of being around other people. The end result is the same, though.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. I actually think its problematic not to find somewhere to honestly open up, although I know how hard that is in depression. In depression things you feel, endured, suffered, went through are pressed down. Bad things may have happened and you blame yourself but so often its a result of some loss or trauma. We need absolutely to find those we can talk to so even this post is a start. There are times we will need to climb into our shells because we need to be self contained, but the agony lies in not being able to break out of that and feeling we are wrong, bad, flawed or all alone and unloved. Expressing these feelings is essential, painful and scarey as it is because its only when we can be real that we can start to turn depression into expression.

    Liked by 3 people

      1. I would love to start a movement. Is so common and so many people are suffering. I have personally found here on WordPress such a supportive loving community. I also listened to a programme where teenagers were speaking about their depression telecast on radio here in Australia via a project called Haywire. The presenter was saying that his expereince is that in the last 7 years more people are talking about it. It is what needs to happen in experience.

        Liked by 2 people

      2. If there is something you would like to express I would be more than happy to post it on my blog. I am going to do an invite to others soon to do this via some guest posts. I could also then help you to promote your blog. Love Deborah (No pressure though)

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Thank you for sharing ♡

    I recently went through another bout of depression that turned quickly into a major depressive state. I felt like the life was sucked out of me. The hollowness and sorrow bought weakness to my body. I lack ambition to do anything.

    I have pulled through. Now my doctor is querying bipolar but I have some doubts. Although some of my recent behaviour (and past) suggests it. It was just a shock go here.

    I was originally diagnosed with Major Depression and Generalized Anxiety Disorder / Social Anxiety. The extreme anxiety could have been hypomania all along. Anyways. I’m getting ahead of myself.

    I really just wanted to to say thank you for writing this, and having the courage to do so.

    Liked by 3 people

  5. As someone who suffers from depression and can’t always find the words to describe it, I loved your post. Perfectly said.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Super relatable walk through inside our daily minds. When referring to parents and regretting making them worry too much about us hit close to home.

    I hit a certain point in my life where I knew I really needed to let go and take care of myself. As they are getting older they want to see us do better. I would begin to stop and think about how I’m telling my parents I’m doing while feeling a temporary sadness. Most times we don’t know when it’s going to go away, but as we make ourselves aware- such as making this comment, knowing that we DO make them worry much more when we respond in the way we do. Then using that situational awareness we can diminish the thoughts then and there thinking about our parents worry.

    It was a tactic that I picked up for myself.
    Take certain things are reminders, uplifters. We must identify, acknowledge and persevere finding solutions.

    I recently began working on WordPress, check out some of my readings…we may relate. Happy reading!

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Thank you for sharing this. I know we are “not alone”, but it is helpful to be able to read about someone else’s experience and see there is a community of writer here on WordPress. ❤

    Liked by 2 people

  8. The worst part is, its a vicious circle. Thanks to all the hindrance caused by depression in a relationship you loose the ones you love the most, further putting you in depression.

    Liked by 2 people

  9. My husband is divorcing me because he has just never loved me when he learned the depressed side of me he became cruel and would even call me Sybil, psycho and schizo. Because of my No Self Esteem and feelings of worthlessness, I groveled and begged him as I thought I am defective, if I don’t have him I will have nobody. Well it seems to be the case as I find myself alone. For some reason I have been given this affliction and I am trying to find my purpose of it. There is such a stigma on depression that maybe my purpose is to spread the word through writing. I don’t know. I love your blog thank you, it was so relateable…please continue to write.

    Depressed Divorcee

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Why does depressive writing speaks how I feel haha. Laughing about it now makes me identifies myself. But I am not claiming it. I have Jesus and he will deliver me.

    Like

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