I was on a great roll over the last month that, it is not surprising that I had a bad week. I have been through it all this week. My anxiety levels have hit epic heights this week, and so far I had back to back panic attacks on Wednesday and Thursday.
I have had major issues with sleep this week culminating in not getting to sleep until about 4 am on Friday. I slept in and got a late start to my day that threw off my entire day, maybe in my week. What is worse is my depression has increased. I was doing so well before this week.
My week has been what I always fear after having weeks in a row of productive and depression free life— a relapse. My January of fantastic compared to January of 2017. I was moving at a great pace on all my projects. My school was going well (still is except for one bad grade because I didn’t read the rubric right.)
I don’t know completely what triggered these relapses in anxiety and sleep. I was getting my normal amount of sleep last week and them boom. I can seem to get sleep no matter what I do. I got into my car several times before my last panic attack. Then Wednesday became my worst panic attack ever. Somehow something changed and I didn’t realize how bad my anxiety was getting.
It might have been an anomaly, it‘s true that panic attacks happen in my life. But it was still bad on Thursday and I had another mild panic attack around the same time of the day.
How do you Move on from a bad week?
I have noted that my worst times of the day for anxiety is between 5 pm and 7pm. I thought the new dosage I started in December was working and my anxiety was getting better. It seemed to subside in January. I had a couple of minds late-night panic attacks but I got through fine. I moved on. My depression reached its lowest levels in years last month.
So how do I move on from this weird week and work towards refocusing my life?
I get back to what was working. I have been shirking my CBT. I have been so busy lately. I am always working on something. Like the major freelance project that I am closed to completing. It feels good to be close to the end of what has been an amazing journey. I have begun to put together my first draft manuscript for my memoir. I am organizing everything in chapters. It’s coming along great, and I so productive.
But this week, it has been a struggle. I am muddling through in hopes of figuring out the triggers of this week. Is it stress? Am I overworking myself again? I have this need to make up for lost time and so I keep working myself. 2018 is going to be my year. It could be the last time I say my therapist was in December.
Between my therapist being sick and then I got sick we keep missing one another. I have an appointment next week. For the next couple of months, it might be imperative to meet my therapist every week.
The biggest thing is figuring out my triggers. I need to take a step back and think about what is going through my mind before I leave my house. I have to be conscious of all my thoughts because it could be that things are getting to me like stress.
I am hoping to take it easy the rest of the weekend. I need to start things right next week to shake this current relapse. My hope that it ends with a week and I get back on track.