My Bad Week

I was on a great roll over the last month that, it is not surprising that I had a bad week. I have been through it all this week. My anxiety levels have hit epic heights this week, and so far I had back to back panic attacks on Wednesday and Thursday.

I have had major issues with sleep this week culminating in not getting to sleep until about 4 am on Friday. I slept in and got a late start to my day that threw off my entire day, maybe in my week. What is worse is my depression has increased. I was doing so well before this week.

My week has been what I always fear after having weeks in a row of productive and depression free life— a relapse. My January of fantastic compared to January of 2017. I was moving at a great pace on all my projects. My school was going well (still is except for one bad grade because I didn’t read the rubric right.)

I don’t know completely what triggered these relapses in anxiety and sleep. I was getting my normal amount of sleep last week and them boom. I can seem to get sleep no matter what I do. I got into my car several times before my last panic attack. Then Wednesday became my worst panic attack ever. Somehow something changed and I didn’t realize how bad my anxiety was getting.

It might have been an anomaly, it‘s true that panic attacks happen in my life. But it was still bad on Thursday and I had another mild panic attack around the same time of the day.

How do you Move on from a bad week?

I have noted that my worst times of the day for anxiety is between 5 pm and 7pm. I thought the new dosage I started in December was working and my anxiety was getting better. It seemed to subside in January. I had a couple of minds late-night panic attacks but I got through fine. I moved on. My depression reached its lowest levels in years last month.

So how do I move on from this weird week and work towards refocusing my life?

I get back to what was working. I have been shirking my CBT. I have been so busy lately. I am always working on something. Like the major freelance project that I am closed to completing. It feels good to be close to the end of what has been an amazing journey. I have begun to put together my first draft manuscript for my memoir. I am organizing everything in chapters. It’s coming along great, and I so productive.

But this week, it has been a struggle. I am muddling through in hopes of figuring out the triggers of this week. Is it stress? Am I overworking myself again? I have this need to make up for lost time and so I keep working myself. 2018 is going to be my year. It could be the last time I say my therapist was in December.

Between my therapist being sick and then I got sick we keep missing one another. I have an appointment next week. For the next couple of months, it might be imperative to meet my therapist every week.

The biggest thing is figuring out my triggers. I need to take a step back and think about what is going through my mind before I leave my house. I have to be conscious of all my thoughts because it could be that things are getting to me like stress.

jonas-svidras-363172.jpg

I am hoping to take it easy the rest of the weekend. I need to start things right next week to shake this current relapse. My hope that it ends with a week and I get back on track.

J.E. Skye

Photo Credit:

unsplash-logoSamuel Ferrara

unsplash-logoJonas Svidras

36 Replies to “My Bad Week”

  1. Sounds like the weekend couldn’t have come soon enough! I wonder if it’s a combination of not having seen your therapist and not practising the cbt so much and doing a lot of work …. maybe your mind is telling you to slow down on the work over the weekend and give yourself a bit of me-time. I hope you have a really restful weekend and find your rhythm so to speak, again very quickly. ☀️☀️☀️❤️

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m so sorry that your week has been so rough! I know very little about what it is like to have depression or Bipolar disorder, but I can say that blogging and/or journaling really helps me when I feel really anxious, and from what I see in your blog, I’m glad to see its been helping you! I hope your weekend goes okay. Something that’s really been working for me is practicing meditation and deep breathing exercises. I’m not sure if you’ve tried these before or how well they worked/will work for you, but these might help! Just wanted to put it out there. Have a good weekend!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Meditation is very important in my life and deep breathing exercises are so important I got a bit out of synch this week but I am getting back to both. Thank you for sharing.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. James, you may have overloaded your stress bucket by trying to do too much. The same thing has happened to me in the past. When that happens, I have learned to back off and do less, with breaks in between, and exercise and reading a good book and listening to classical music, and such. In my blog, triumpoverdepression.org, I wrote a couple of articles explaining what a stress bucket is. If you can’t find them, let me know and I’ll do a copy and paste. Pat

    Liked by 2 people

  4. I had one of those weeks too love. Stay positive and keep pushing forward. Knowing that a great month cannot even compare to a bad week is a great start! And thanks so much for sharing – I seriously walk around some days wondering am I the only one. Positivity, love and light to you friend.💙

    Liked by 2 people

      1. Yeah it does. I starting using My mindfulness breathing. I started to meditate again. And I did some of the work that learned from CBT like mood induction.

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  5. Aww. I hope you can get some self-care in there and can get some relief from the anxiety and depression. May you have a good weekend! It is rough!

    I’ve found that my hormones will fluctuate just enough to throw me out of whack, it’s subtle, so I’m often wondering what happened at first. Or I think my body sometimes doesn’t metabolize my medications well, so I’m left a little short on a dose or two.

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    1. Sorry i write this on the wrong blog. I meant to write stay strong in this one x

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  6. Sorry you had a bad week James. Im hoping you and me have a much better week next week. Take care James 🙂

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  7. You really have a lot on your plate James. I know what it is like to add things while you have the momentum but allow yourself to complete at least two of the task. This will help you to feel accomplished without adding more stress. Do not add more until your projects are completed to avoid becoming overwhelmed spiraling you into a depression. Give yourself next week to complete the tasks. Then refocus and regain. Be kind to yourself James. You are doing a wonderful job.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I have really learned that if I let down my guard and don’t follow through on the things that help everything goes badly. Keep on with your CBT etc. You will be better. Suzanne

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Sorry To Hear About Your Week. We’re you maybe doing too much? Did you feel it creeping up on you. ? Like maybe too happy and too productive? It’s good that you’ll be sewing your therapist! Good luck!

    Liked by 1 person

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