Holidays and Kids

Valentine's Day
Photo by Jerry Kiesewetter on Unsplash

This week has been a long week for me. I’ve really been in a lot of pain due to constant weather changes. I’m getting migraines from the same. It was just Valentine’s Day which is a holiday I don’t understand. It only promotes hurt as far as I can tell.

Shouldn’t we be showing our family, friends, children and significant others every day how we love them? Valentine’s Day just sets you up to get hurt. You get your hopes up for that special someone to notice you or remember you and when it doesn’t happen….day is ruined, you hurt and feel forgotten or left out. I’ve never cared for this holiday. This year was no different. Set myself up, and………nothing. Not a word, not a peep, not a thing.

Then, later in the week my youngest son, only 17, signed up and got sworn into the United States Marine Corps. He leaves either April or May. When did my baby grow up? To hear your child say the words “I swear to protect my country from all enemies, foreign and domestic…” (rephrased) that’s pretty hard to hear as a mom. My older two also went into the Marine Corps. While I couldn’t be more proud of them, it’s tough being a Marine mom. Very tough.

tired
Photo by ANMOL on Unsplash

This has been a week of being surrounded by stress. Seems like everywhere I turn, there is something new. I need a break. I want to stop hurting so much. I want to have a day where I am happy and not just getting along ok. It’s been a very emotional and lonely and painful week. Forecast for today is not looking any different.

I’m tired of being strong. I want to be weak just for a while and have someone else take care of me for a bit. I wish for that so much, but I know that every day when I wake up I will be fighting my battles without a partner. I will have to be strong even though I can barely function. You show any sign of weakness and the demons come for you, preying on your mind and emotions.

Every day is a mental battle of wills. Be strong, be strong, be strong. Keep the demons at bay. Don’t let them win.

I’m so tired.

by kilee

www.kileegoecke.blog

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20 Replies to “Holidays and Kids”

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  1. Valentine’s Day is not a holiday actually, it is just a meaningless day imo. Most of our holidays are kinda silly in all honesty and I am not sure why we clebrate them pretending everything is okay or people allow it to depress them. Christmas are morals taught from religion, morals we are suppose to do everyday and implement. Help the poor, spend time with family and each other etc. Yet we don;t do that everyday really either and we fake smiles at Christmas pretend humanity is great while a good population of the world don’t even know what Christmas is and starves etc. Then ignore each other the rest of the year pretty much. (at least that is how my family kinda is) Thanksgiving rather it is in direct relation or not (some of very strong arguments about the history of Thanksgiving and I am not entirely sure) but somehow does relate to the slaughtering of the Natives. Though I celebrate holidays and pretend to enjoy myself, I have never been over hyped about them or care. I kinda let them go by like everything else and try not to get over worked about them good or bad. So my advice is to not get down on yourself because it was Valentine’s day it is just another day really. I am married and have no use for the day because everyday is love day for me really or at least it should be. My husband was sick this week for Valentine;s day and I took care of him and I didn’t complain once or even really care. 😛 We have never really celebrated the day actually. We just do nice things and go out to dinner etc when we want to, not because a day tells us too. I am glad your son got into the Marine corps, but I cannot imagine how difficult that must be for you as a mom.

    Know that it is okay to be weak sometimes too. I do hope you feel better soon though and can get back up to fight. It is impossible somedays trust me I feel you. My problem is or challenge is when I am like really depressed or having a difficult time with reality I need to be alone. Sometimes it is harder to live with somebody everyday than I like to admit. I love my husband, but there are days I long for my alone time. Lukcily he can be very understanding. But I can’t seem to get other people or life to leave me alone. 😛

    Great post and thanks for sharing your story!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. The line is so fine between our sanity and our demons that sometimes it blurs. It is horrible. I’m sorry you know this. Thank you for your reply.

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  2. I hear your struggle and I’ve been through similar things. Keep fighting the demons with God by your side. Everyday we have to talk ourselves into doing it all over again. It’s so hard. Btw I also think Valentine’s day is just a day that makes people feel unworthy if they are unattached.

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