Living Life To The Fullest

I seem to always beat myself up over not accomplishing things when I “should” have. As I’ve talked about in another article, we can be our own worst critic (Your Worst Critic). I recently watched a video on social media, where a headmaster of a school was talking to, what I assume to be, 3rd year high school students at the beginning of the year. He states that in 2 years, the students will be starting university. In 5 years, they will be starting their careers. At 30 years old, they’ll start a family and buy a house. Their lives will be set for them once they reach this point. Then another man stands up, and says, “headmaster, I disagree with you.” He goes on to talk about how he has know people that found love at 18. People that didn’t go to college until they were in their late twenties and found a job right after graduation. People that graduated at 22 and didn’t find a job until 25. People that didn’t start a family until well after 35. The moral of this video, was that everyone goes according to their own timelines. Just because someone finished college at 22 doesn’t mean that you have to as well. I was touched by this video to almost the point of tears.

Something that I struggle with for most of my adult life has been what am I going to do with my life. I’ve talked about this before in What Do You Want To Be When You Grow Up. I’ve missed many of what I feel to be milestones in my life due to my mental illness. Graduating college, finding love, getting a good job, you name it, I’ve probably missed it. I didn’t even really graduate highschool, while technically I have a diploma, Depression go in the way there too. What this video taught me, that I already probably knew, is that life goes at its own pace based on who you are. While this does not help the feelings of disappointment that I feel, it does offer me hope, which is hard to come by with mental illness. While I’m almost in my mid twenties, I still live at home, I have a terrible job, I am up to my nose in bills and responsibilities, it all feels like I’m failing at life. I don’t discount that it’s probably the fault of my mental illness that I’m in the position I’m in, as well as the reason that I feel this way.

Life is an endless struggle for people like me, which is why suicide seems like such an appealing option. While I do not encourage nor romanticize suicide, I’ve always felt like it would be an end to my pain and suffering. The age old saying, that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem doesn’t seem true to me; as I will most likely be dealing with this suffering my entire life. By definition that makes it a permanent problem. I know that it’s my depression that makes me feel this way, and I’m in no danger of taking my own life. I just can’t help but wonder, if I were not depressed, how my life would be drastically different. The ugly truth of the matter, is that no matter how much I wish that I was not afflicted by mental illness, there is no escaping it. This is my life, and it is up to me to make the most out of it, whatever way I can. Therefore, take what I say to heart, that life will throw you curveballs as often as it can. It is up to you to go with the flow, and take control of your life. There is no set schedule at which you must live your life, only one that you create. So get out there, and make the most of your one life that you have. Starting now, that’s the same thing I’ll be doing.

Yours,

Wolfgang

Advertisements

24 Replies to “Living Life To The Fullest”

  1. This was a good read and I agree with you, everyone has their own timeline. Society puts these expectations on us for how we should be living our lives but I think once you are able to be fearless in your own vision, you are on the right path. Everything will happen in it’s timing but I couldn’t help but read that you are dedicating your voice to helping others through your experience and that is pretty awesome!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I wrote this because I often feel like I’m moving too slowly. I just have to remind myself that I have my own pace not set by anyone but myself

      Like

  2. I completely agree – and I think that headmaster was, unwittingly, causing some damage with those words! I, too, feel like I’ve missed these “milestones” and “should have done more” by 28. A friendly recently told me to “Run my own race”, and I’m really trying to lean into that, and quit the damaging comparisons I make. Thanks for sharing this.

    Like

  3. Where there is life there is hope. Trite but true. You only have to do things on your own schedule. I have an Aunt who married at 45. Life has not passed you by instead it has taught you much that others take years to learn.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I agree, life takes its own course with each of us. We must learn our lessons at our own pace. Eventually we will all be in a place where our life is fulfilling, but that will be different for each person

      Like

  4. I like what Jim Carrey said about depression. Think of it as deep rest. In a world where we are taught to wear a facade and build a personality of the liking, our soul grows tired of this game. In moments of boredom, or depresssion, listen carefully to what your soul is trying to communicate.

    I too suffer from depression, but have come to enjoy it as a deep rest. In a world of constant transition, nothing actually changes.

    Life just goes on.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That is simply beautiful, I really like that way of looking at depression. And like does go on, but we are strong and will prevail

      Like

  5. THIS! Exactly! We have set up so many milestones as a society for our children that they grow up under a perpetual stress. It is so important to understand that – in short – each to his own.

    Like

    1. I feel like I’m under constant stress because of these societal goals which I must meet. I’ve only recently come to realize that I’m on my own timeline, and it is liberating

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Haha thank you, I try pretty hard to be a success story for people with mental illness, to let them know there is hope, a chance to get out of the hole they’re in

        Liked by 1 person

  6. I have seen the video too and sent it to my son who is dealing with changing his dreams and goals because of mental illness. The man that gets up is Jay Shetty. He is a monk who has become a bit of a celeb on the motivational circuit. You can follow him on YouTube. Thanks for posting about this. It is really important!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Thanks for the article.. I just want to be remembered for more than depression and chronic pain.. I am 50 and I still have dreams and plans but it’s so hard to stay focused.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It is very hard to stay focused, but we only get one go at life. I always try to remember that so long as I have my health, I can fail and try again as many times as I need. Success will ultimately come, it’s just riding the waves and not falling off until you get to success

      Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s