Happy Monday everyone. I hope you have a hot cup of coffee and you are ready to take on the world. Today we have another guest blogger– Katie. You can find her @ http://www.mentalhealthjourney.co.uk/ Enjoy your Monday morning, and I will be posting a blog on social anxiety later today.
Stop “Should-ing Yourself
We are all guilty of “should-ing” ourselves. “Should” can be a toxic word, it’s bad for or souls.“Should” puts us under pressure and leaves us feeling inadequate.
Imagine you’re having a bad day, you haven’t done that load of washing, you haven’t done the kids homework with them because everything somehow ran behind and now the evening has turned into a nightmare.
You’re tired, drained but now on top of that you are wracked with guilt because you “SHOULD” have done the washing, you “SHOULD” have done the kids homework with them, and now you’re a terrible parent to top it all off…You’re not sure if they have clean school jumper, they are going to fail school because of you…in fact they might just fail at life and it will be all your fault because you should have……..STOP!!
We need to take a step back sometimes and realise that we are human, not machines. We get overwhelmed, tired, we have bad days and that’s OKAY!
Adding “Should” to the mix only makes us end up walking a path of guilt and inadequacy, when actually what we have done is the best we can do at that time and that is all you, I and anyone else can ask for.
It doesn’t mean you have failed as a human being, it doesn’t make you a terrible parent or anything else for that matter. It simply just is.
It is a bad day, and it will pass as the washing will get done, it wont stay there forever. The kids will do their homework and won’t fail at life because of these small fractions of time where we need to just step back for a little while.
Simply put it’s okay not to be okay sometimes! You can’t be everything to everyone and you can’t pour from an empty cup. Sometimes you have to replenish your own cup before you can help others with theirs.
It’s a difficult thing to do, believe me I know! It is however something that is necessary at times and something we should work on telling ourselves in order not to burn out.
If you have an empty cup and continue to try and pour from it regardless, all that comes from it is frustration. Frustration from you because you have nothing left to give and frustration from others because they are feeling your frustration.
It’s much better to take this small step back and replenish.
It’s important to notice when we are “should-ing” ourselves and make a mental note that it’s our minds playing tricks on us and it’s not true, that we are okay.
I am so guilty of “should-ing”myself. It’s a hard habit to break as it somehow becomes a natural go to feeling, but I have definitely got better at recognising it and halting it in it’s tracks before I become a guilt ridden mess.
Just remember you are only human, and a great one at that! It’s good to take a step back and listen to our bodies and minds, so no more beating yourself up!
You are great as you are!
Please Help me Publish my Memoir
I have finished the first draft of my memoir “The Bipolar Writer,” and I have decided to go down the self-publishing route. If you can donate anything towards my goal, it would mean the world to me. Those that give will get a special mention in my memoir on a page dedicated to those that made my memoir possible. Thank you in advance!