What I Have Given up to Social Anxiety

The last two years have been hard as social anxiety has taken focus in my life. I have lost so much of myself. Who I was, and what in my mind was always the things that make me– well James. Today I want to try and list just a few things that have changed over the course of my increase in social anxiety.

  • Driving – I used to take long trips all the time. I love taking a drive anywhere, just picking a city and driving there without pause. Now, I barely leave my town because its tough to sit behind the wheel without my anxiety spiraling. It’s been one of the hardest adjustments in my life because driving was an escape.
  • Going to the Movies – It has been well over two years since the last time that I went to the movies. The last time I had to leave the theater halfway through the film because of a panic attack. In the times leading up to that event, I would always be so anxious during a movie the enjoyment is horrible. This also goes for concerts which I used to love to go to– it has been so long since I saw my favorite bands play.
  • Canceling Plans – This is the hardest thing that still gets to me the most. I hate canceling plans. It’s the worst. People, friends, and family can only go so far before they start not planning things with you. It’s got to that point where my friends know not to make plans because it’s not worth the effort.

I am sure there is more things that I am missing and things that have gone by the wayside with my social anxiety.

I am curious, what are the things that my readers and followers have lost due to social anxiety. I challenge not only myself but my fellow bloggers to challenge the things that social anxiety has taken away from you. I am going to face these things this summer.

Always keep fighting.

James

Please Help me Publish my Memoir

I have finished the first draft of my memoir “The Bipolar Writer,” and I have decided to go down the self-publishing route. If you can donate anything towards my goal, it would mean the world to me. Those that give will get a special mention in my memoir on a page dedicated to those that made my memoir possible. Thank you in advance!

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19 Replies to “What I Have Given up to Social Anxiety”

  1. I’ve lost being able to travel to the super market or answer the phone/doors to unexpected people. Things I am definitely trying to work on. One of my hardest challenge this year was forcing my self to go to my lectures at university since I had to walk to them alone. I wish you well for the summer with the hope you over come these hurdles x

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you for sharing. I still struggle to go to the supermarket but I only when I absolutely have to go. I am a ball of mess and anxiety. Large crowds have been hard for me.

      Liked by 2 people

    2. My nephew is 10 and has horrible anxiety. It’s so bad that he cries at school and was allowed to do his schoolwork at home for the remainder of the year bc he just can’t deal with his anxiety. I don’t know what is going to happen by beginning of next school year. Every single time anyone makes plans with him like movies , zoo, restaurant , friends b day party , he bails out at the last min or once he gets there he wants to leave 20 min later. He stayed the night at his best friends sleep over with a few kids but called his dad at 2 am to pick him up. He never enjoys anything unless it’s at home playing video games. He always has an upset stomach ( I’m guessing it’s his nerves or his way of getting out of doing anything so he tells his parents his stomach hurts ). He uses the excuse so much but as soon as he is home his stomach feels just fine and he is able to eat his chips or whatever . It’s terrible. He is on medication and therapy. I certainly hope anyone with anxiety can figure things out bc you miss so much !
      I have mild anxiety but I can still go out and enjoy things. However, I have noticed I can only take so long being in a very crowded place until I feel very drained and ready to leave after couple hours

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I am sorry to hear about your nephew. The stomach thing could be an issue. Last year I was hospitalized for a week with really bad bleeding ulcers. It was due to the stress of my social anxiety. I have had stomach issues the last year and half. You need make sure you try and get my stomach issues under control before they make major issue. I am saddened someone so young is dealing with this. I wouldn’t wish anxiety on my worst enemy. Is your nephew getting treatment for it? I know he is young it could manifest into bigger problems as a teen and young adult.

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  2. Anxiety has undermined my confidence! I fear the proverbial foot-in-mouth problem. Sometimes when I am around others I nervously talk too much and that results in me saying things that are inappropriate for the moment. So, my worry of this happening again keeps me stuck at home alone. Ugh!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I can relate Susan. I tend to prefer being alone because I either talk to much because I am nervous or I am very quiet because I am afraid of saying the wrong thing. It can be such a crippling experience.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I can relate to some of those points so much! I have not been able to go to a concert in four years. I used to love going to clubs, concerts and festivals. Just last week one of my favourite bands was in town, and I just couldn’t go. I am still so very frustrated because of it!
    I can’t go grocery shopping anymore so I do grocery shopping online now. And all of my friends and family have given up on making the effort to make plans with me too, because I cancel almost every time.
    I hope you will be able to challenge your anxious thoughts and behaviour a little this summer, while still being kind to yourself ❤

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you. I am glad that you shared this with me. One of my biggest regrets when it comes to my social anxiety is not going to concerts for so long. I miss the energy and people. I think like minded people is what I miss most.

      Liked by 2 people

  4. Since my anxiety is connected to irritable bowel during an episode I can’t leave the house in the morning until after 10:00 by which time i usually know if I can leave. It’s hard not to plan or do anything with that in mind.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I am sorry to hear that my friend. I was not leaving my house for while but it was hurting my recovery. I still go out as much as possible.

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  5. I think it’s like dancing. It turns out that no one is really watching you dance most of the time. They are too busy worrying about how they are dancing and what they look like.

    By the same token when I was experiencing social anxiety, my thinking process was very negative. It was easier to stay at home than expose myself to the world’s judgement. And that’s not to say that this will help with social anxiety. But when I overcame that emotion I realised that I didn’t care at all what people thought of me, unless I valued their opinions as friends.

    In hindsight it was frustrating how debilitating anxiety was, yet I remember just how hard it was, and wish everyone well in their journey.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. There is! And it’s so worthwhile! I can only urge you and anyone else who is struggling to hang in there to hold on, as best they can. I really never thought I could be happy and free again, after 14 years. Now that old me seems like such a stranger, it’s hard to believe.

        Liked by 1 person

  6. I feel the same way as well. I have given up so much because of social anxiety. I wonder is this the way life will be for us or can we somehow come out of it?

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  7. Ohhhh how many movies I’ve had to wait for on DVD because my social anxiety just couldn’t handle it. Five years into social anxiety and luckily I’ve gotten a bit better at navigating the movie theater anxiety. When I get the courage to go I wait until a time I know it will most likely be empty and it helps. I’ve also given up school for now because the classroom setting makes my social anxiety the worst. For a while I couldn’t be anywhere and then I started doing this thing where I would go to Starbucks walking (it’s 10 minutes away) and I’d sit there reading for as long as I could manage. I went from 5 minutes to now a little over 2 hours. And I only leave because I have other things to do.

    I wish you the best of luck with facing those things this summer and 100% recommend it. Exposing myself to social settings, for me, has been what’s helped the most. Especially going by myself and not having someone else there because then I have to confront those anxious thoughts by myself. Though of course there’s nothing wrong with someone else being there. You don’t have to be there for a long time when you first start out. Gradually increasing the amount of time works and it’s always good to remind yourself that if you can’t deal with even 5 minutes it’s okay to leave and try again some other day 🙂

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