How to deal With Your Inner Fears
I write this blog post using my own personal experience. I am not a psychiatrist so tread lightly. First of all, if your fears put you in any kind of danger then I would seek professional help immediately. Medication plus counseling is the key. Counseling helps you talk about your fears and gets to the main cause of those fears. Knowing the cause empowers you to heal.
I speak of fears or inner demons. Fears to go out of your home fears to interact with people, fears of places or things.
The first thing to do is to analyze whether your fears are real. You can do this by listing your fears and then rate them from one to ten. With one being your weakest fear and ten being your strongest fear. Then list the lowest fear first and so on. Now beside each fear write down if it’s real or not. You can challenge your fear by questions like the following.
- Has this happened before in the past?
- Does this happen all the time?
- Is this real or is it just in my mind?
If your fears aren’t real and are only in your mind then it’s time to seek professional help and medication. A psychiatrist can help.
But even if your fears aren’t real you may need help to face them. I know of a way that can help. You take one fear at a time to work on. Use the list you made above. Make a form for the first lowest ranking fear. Then you rate your fear on a scale of one to ten. Then you think of the negative belief that fear. For example: they’re going to get me! And you write down the negative belief and rate your belief in it on a scale from one to ten. Then you think of a positive counter statement. A positive statement that will help you deal with your fear and that negative belief. For example: They’re not interested in me! Rate the belief in this positive counter-statement on a scale from one to ten.
If your belief in the positive counter statement is higher than your belief in the initial negative thought then you are winning already. If it doesn’t continue to work on your fear. With time it will get better.
Rerate the first negative belief after you think of your positive counter statement. It should have dropped. Then write down what you are feeling after facing your fear and rate it on a scale of one to ten.
As you go out of your comfort zone to face your fear, this positive counter statement will bring down your belief in the negative thought and bring down your fear! The more often you go out of your comfort zone to face your fear, the more chances that the positive counter statement will slowly bring down your fears.
But remember to work on one fear at a time. As I said, start with the lowest ranking fear for practice. This should take a couple of months at least. Daily facing your fear will bring the initial feeling of fear down as well as the belief in that initial negative thought. We are working on that initial negative belief. We are also working on increasing the belief in the positive counter statement.
Once your belief in the negative thought is down to one or two out of ten you can consider that you have succeeded in challenging your fear. Then work on the next fear on that initial list. Again create a form where you can write down each time the rating of your fear, your belief in the initial negative belief, your positive counter statement, your belief in your positive counter statement and the subsequent belief in the negative thought. Then write down the emotion that you are feeling and rate it. For me, it was always a relief.
Good luck in facing your fears! Remember that if at any time you feel overwhelmed, take a moment, breathe, relax and stop. Go to your safe place at home or stop for a coffee and relax. Take a deep breath and concentrate on your breathing and relax. Don’t face your fear again until the next day.
Author: Miriam’s Art