When You Wake Up in a Bad Day

Taking a Mental and Physical Day Off

We all have those days, I hate those days.

I woke up today with one of my worst migraines this year. I had the whole nine yards when it comes to migraines, but the worst was the sensitivity to light. I wanted to lay in bed in the dark all day. I really had no choice because the light was hurting to a point where I wanted to close my eyes forever.

It was strange. I am so used to all my mental illness always “being in my headspace.” Sure there are physiological symptoms to my mental illness. I am just not a fan of my migraines. I never have been because they make me want to go against my impulses to be productive.

My productivity was none existent to a point where I started to feel depressed about it. I am already feeling isolated by my mania, depression, and social anxiety lately. This just seems cruel that with all that I still get a few bad migraines every year. I know that some people with migraines daily have it worse. I am glad my migraines, at least at this point, have not gotten so much worse.

I thought a lot about how over the course of my life things always seem to spiral. Maybe I need to take more mental health days. Then I thought, “you are too hard on yourself James.” It’s the truth. I am my worst enemy when it comes to being kind to myself. When I am not productive, it makes me mad because I feel that for years I wasted away and there is a part of me that feels as if I need to catch up or make up the time I lost.

I need to be kinder to myself. So maybe this is a great thing for me. Time for me to relax and not worry about all the things that go through my mind, which is always a lot.

I wanted to end with this, we are always a work in progress in this mental illness life. We keep working and keep fighting. Thank you for listening.

Always Keep Fighting (AKF)

James

Photo Credit: unsplash-logoMarco Bianchetti

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19 Replies to “When You Wake Up in a Bad Day”

  1. I too, was diagnosed with migraines couple with my former diagnosis of Bipolar II disorder, but as soon as i’d, sorted through the issues of my past, my migraines were, “cured”, turned out, they were, a psychosomatoform disorder, a manifestation of my mental state, and once i sorted through what had happened to me as a young child, my migraines, they were, “cured” as well…hopefully, you can draw from my experiences…hope you feel better soon.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I get migraines too. I find that I am more prone to them when I am hypomanic. I think the feeling of brain overload and being unable to turn off my brain attributes a lot to it. My sensory issues also become much worse when I am hypomanic, so that sensitivity doesn’t help either I’m sure.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. That was my day today. I know the circumstances of how I got here, but it doesn’t make it easier to shake off the fog. A busy social weekend that extended through Tuesday left my personal batteries low and I can’t seem to find a moment alone to recharge. I am hoping things looking better on the other side of the bed tomorrow.

    Feel better!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Awe, I’m sorry to hear that. I totally understand how it feels to have a migraine…feel better! Keep fighting!!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I was having a conversation with my friends the other day and one of them said that she’s stopped trying to live her life on a timeline. She’s still setting goals and working towards them, but she’s just not stressing about the time or what other people are doing at the same stage in life. I thought that was a great approach. It’s a little hard to get over that sense of comparison when we’re comparing our dream selves to who we currently are, but I think there’s something to be said for maing peace with who we are and looking back to see how far we’ve come. Hope you feel better soon.

    Liked by 1 person

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