Bullying and Mental Health

This is perhaps the most important topic I have covered on The Bipolar Writer blog. It is also the most talked about, and today as I write some new posts for the remainder of the week, I wanted to repost thing blog post, because there has been so much feedback posted on this post. I think other than my posts on suicide, bullying and mental health is an important to ending the stigma surrounding mental illness.

My Take on Bullying and Mental Illness

It is always the goal of this blog to be informative. At the same time, I want to share my experiences on the topic in question. I wanted to write today about the realities of bullying and effects it can have on mental health when we are younger.

It was different when I was a kid. The technology that our kids (whether they be your child, a niece, or a nephew) have at their disposal changed the game when it came to bullying

Any expert will tell you that bullying at a young age can cause serious emotional distress. and even develop into mental disabilities.

I can remember some level of bullying when I was a child. In my own experiences, I am not sure if it affected my mental illness as much. In middle school, the bullying I received could have been one reason for later issues. It could be why in high school I became a loner introvert. When depression became a constant companion in my teenage year’s bullying didn’t help.

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In my own experiences. Other things in my childhood have more bearing in what were causes in my mental illness, but I won’t discuss that here.

In my middle school years my bullying was for being geeky (I played video games and D & D) had some bearing.

It’s different in today’s world. I can remember in my early twenties with MySpace and Facebook online bullying was taking shape. I am going to age myself a bit. I can also remember when chat rooms were big when I was a teenager. It often was a place for online bullying for those that were different.

Bullying can cause so much damage at a young age. It could interfere with social development. I became more myself when I was alone. I reveled in it. But it made it harder for me to be social in high school. It’s one of the causes of my social anxiety now.

It can hurt your self-esteem the more bullying takes place in your life. I know the bullying I received in middle school for being a teacher’s pet or a geek it often made me depressed. I can even remember times when I was anxious to go school during my high school years.

I remember once talking on MySpace about my cutting and self-harm. I got such negative remarks from people because it’s such a taboo subject. The ridicule I received was that of an outsider in the normal world. When I took such lengths at such a young age (my teenage and first years of adulthood) it people used it against me. So I became more secretive and hid in shame.

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In the last ten years, I have seen bullying turn to mental health issues for others on a global scale. I have seen people bullied online for going through depression or self-harm. People tend to not realize that those of us who talk about these issues might be reaching out. Talking about self-harm or suicide might be the last ditch hope to have someone listen.

The biggest thing I want to talk about here is for parents. It’s important to talk about bullying with your kids. It is paramount if your kids are starting to show signs of mental illness. If you are looking for things like prolonged depression or constant anxiety it will show up. You can watch. Ask questions.

Don’t be afraid to check your teen’s social media. It is the biggest place that I have seen the most bullying in today’s world. I can’t imagine going through bullying during the day at school. Then you go online and you subjected to bullying there too. So many teens spend so much time in the digital world it’s become the breeding ground of online bullying.

We see the stories all the time, and I mean those of us in the mental health community. Kids so young taking their lives because bullying is such a major part of their daily routine. It becomes too much and we lose human beings who only want to be kids.

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This saddens me that so many young kids and teens are losing hope and turning to suicide. Bullying is a big part of this problem. I am not a parent but I have nieces at the elementary, middle, and high school levels. Sometimes the most silent of us is being hurt the most. Words can cut deep. It’s important for parents to be active in their child’s life. Down the road, it could lead to an undiagnosed mental illness.

I was twenty-two when I was first diagnosed and no one realized I was in a bad place for so many years.

This part of the post is for those that are suffering from bullying and see no way out.

Get help. It’s important.

Writing my memoir has made me realize a lot of things. If I would have talked to my parents about how deep my depression was at fourteen I might have gotten the help I needed. I struggled so much because I left things unsaid. It was until I was in my early twenties before it got so out of control that I chose to commit suicide.

With technology overwhelming us with so much negative every day and with so much bullying online, its become a major issue. The human beings that we are losing are getting younger and younger.

On both sides, parents, and kids, the most important thing is to communicate with one another. It was a different world I grew up in. The stigma was tougher for those of suffering and it was easier to not talk about a mental illness. But this thinking in my mind now is wrong. You must talk about bullying and how it can lead to a mental illness down the road in your own life.

That’s the biggest mistake you can make in this life.

I am speaking to parents, children, teens, young adults, and even adults. We say such hurtful thing to one another on social media as adults. What are we teaching our children?

Learn from the mistakes I made.

I write these blog posts because the topics mean a lot to me. I want to be a voice. But those of us in mental illness community that have experience, have to be a more active voice for the younger generation.

I am adding a new thing to my blog. I will ask my fellow bloggers to share their own experiences with bullying and mental illness. Not just in my comments on this blog. In your own blog space.

I challenge you to, if you can, share your own experiences and add to what kids, teens, and young adults can do to combat bullying in a technological world.

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Always keep fighting.

J.E. Skye

Please Help me Publish my Memoir

I am almost done editing my memoir “The Bipolar Writer,” and I have decided to go down the self-publishing route. If you can donate anything towards my goal, it would mean the world to me. I am still working towards enough to pay an artist for a good cover. Those that donate will get a special mention in my memoir on a page dedicated to those that made my memoir possible. Thank you in advance!

$2.00

Photo Credit:

unsplash-logoOliver Cole

unsplash-logoHailey Kean

unsplash-logoWilliam Iven

unsplash-logoAndy Grizzell

unsplash-logoRachael Crowe

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185 Replies to “Bullying and Mental Health”

  1. The Cyber Bully

    Jemma should live in a kennel like all dogs! #slagsdonthavefriends

    Did u c wot she woz wearin today?
    Charity shop much
    Ahhhh all alone at lunch saddo… puke it up girl.
    Woof woof that’s all I hear!
    Y don’t u fuck off and die?

    Fuckin weirdo tried to cut her wrists #epicfail Sympathy, sympathy
    I have no friends boo fuckin hoo!
    Nerd alert…
    Great day @skl chewing gum in hair, smackin that bitch tomoro!
    Cry baby can’t keep her legs shut!
    Tellin tales makes u a loser n a grass.
    Go home whinge to mummy!
    Skank with a capital skank.

    Trippin the biatch up all lunch, fuckin earthquake fat tub of lard
    Omg did u smell her today dam

    Rip Jemma, a lovely girl wish I could change the past, so sorry we never knew……

    by
    Valkyriekerry Kelly

    Liked by 6 people

  2. Thank you for sharing your story. It makes me feel less alone with my own battle with severe major depressive disorder. Hopefully I’ll be able to write about my experiences with this illness, as well as how emotional and verbal abuse has affected me to this day. But reading this certainly helps. So thank you for your courage. I hope you keep speaking your truth.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. I always do by sharing my experiences. I hope too that you will some day find the courage to write about your experiences. It has been the most therapeutic experience for me.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Great post, especially as my children enter those bullying years. This stuff is hereditary and my 12 year old son no doubt takes after his mom! His tics are out of control and I feel that makes him a target.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. I believe it’s time when we consider mental health as equal as to any other issue. After the mass shooting in a school recently, there has been focus brought onto it. A 19 year old kid, probably with an insane mentality is said to have caused the damage. But who would do that? A person who has been affected due to unusual account of happenings. What is that related to? Mental health! As we go around checking up for physical illness. Why not make it mental too? What’s your view upon this

    Liked by 4 people

    1. I couldn’t agree with you more, we have to start looking at mental illnesses as a part of society. Not one that we keep hidden away and only comes up when something tragic happens. It starts with us, the people living in this world to speak up and talk about the stigma.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Great read and incredibly written, bullying was one of the main contributors to my mental health deteriorating. Even now I don’t think the bullies know just what bullying can do to a persons mind and how it can affect people on a long term basis.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. People in general can be cruel. It’s hard I think fo bullies to understand. At some level some bullies are just reflecting the pain that they have felt. Overall it’s never a good thing and it’s something that needs to change. I was reading an article the other day that said that depression is at an all time high for teenagers and it’s often not diagnosed right. One of the main culprits is cyber bullying. It deserves to be talked about. Thank you for taking time to read my blog.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. It does deserve to be talked about, cyber bullying is one of the main culprits and its because so many children have their own technological devise. Most don’t understand the concept of bullying either, being at such a young age, that some don’t even know what to consider bullying as. It’s a shame that society is becoming this way but that’s what makes talking about it and pieces like this so important!

        Liked by 3 people

      2. I agree 100% with this. I think many of us on the blogger community could share their own experiences that could help combat the issues of bullying

        Liked by 2 people

  5. Thank you so much for sharing your story. Thank you for speaking up and speaking out. I am very, very grateful suicide didn’t win that day. ❤

    I think you're very right about the huge impact bullying has on mental health. I read a fascinating and revealing article about the nature of bullying in schools today a few weeks back, and it's changed a lot of how I think about it. Here's the link in case it helps anyone else: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/happiness-and-the-pursuit-leadership/201711/meet-the-teen-who-discovered-the-secret-social

    Liked by 3 people

  6. Such an important topic. I’m curious what your thoughts are on the Netflix series, 13 Reasons Why. Do you think this has been more helpful or harmful?

    Liked by 3 people

    1. I haven’t watched it. I hardly have time. But I think at some level at least there is something out there showing the reality of bullying and their links to mental illness and suicide. I will watch it eventually and then I can pass better judgment.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. I’d love to hear your thoughts whenever you do watch it! I’m definitely on the side of finding it more helpful, because I feel like the view of bullying, mental health, and the reality of high school is very taboo and “plastic.” I thought it did a great job of showing how aggressive and brutal it can be.

        Liked by 3 people

  7. I think this post is very important.
    As someone who was bullied at school, it’s very important that people are able to speak out and get help they need.
    As I say, hurt people hurt people so it’s important not to let the horrible words and actions of others put you down.
    Kelle – http://www.itskellesspace.com

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Your point is a valid one and it is why we must talk about it. So often those that are bullied take that into their adult lives and inflict on others which perpetuates the cycle. We must learn that bullying doesn’t have to happen.

      Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you. That is why I started writing this blog. To talk about tough subjects like bulling, suicide, self harm just to name a few. I feel since I can write its my duty to always be talking about mental health and everything that encompasses. Thank you for your kind words.

      Liked by 3 people

  8. I just posted about my experiences as an elementary school kid, alternately being laughed at and included as one of the gang by the same people. Unsure if it constitutes bullying, but it affected my psyche a lot and continues to have a noticeable effect on the way I react to certain things as well as how I think. Also, it was before I read this post. Must be psychic. 🔮 😄
    Thanks for posting this, by the way. Really important topic.

    Liked by 4 people

  9. Bullying can be absolutely detrimental to an individual’s mental health- so posts like this one are so important in raising awareness and reminding people about how truly damaging it can be

    Liked by 2 people

  10. Hey I’m Teen girl,
    I thought that this post was really important and useful. I was just wondering if i could ask you something. My cousin is being bullied on and off. Sometimes it will go on for ages but other times it just happens behind her back. She’s not very old and is not handling it well. I was wondering if you could give me some tips and tricks on how to help her deal with this. Anything would be good. I am an anomynous blogger, so i can’t tell you any private infomation. Hope you can help!
    Teen Girl

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Well, it’s tough. First and foremost be there for your cousin. Don’t let her become another statistic. There is no real tricks. People are cruel and teenagers, well we are all not the greatest at that age. If she is showing signs of depression the best thing you can do for her is let her know that she needs to seek help. If it gets that far. Don’t be afraid to tell her family. The worst thing you can do is do nothing.

      Liked by 1 person

  11. Reblogged this on Old Black Waters and commented:
    I’m not bipolar but understand the pain of being, as my friend Sara, says an outlier. I understand how being an outlier results in being harassed and bullied almost daily by my peers from the 6th to the 12th grade. It is why nearly 30 years later I still have trust issues with men, intimacy, and being open about who I am.

    It is why after I won an award for poetry and writing in the sixth grade I stopped writing and joined the football team. It is why when my high school football coach cornered me in the hallway after I quit in my senior year told me I was half the man his 10-year-old son was I joined the Marine Corp.

    It is why losing relationships are so devastating to me and why I hang on after the other people check out. It is hard for me to bond but once I do I am willing to betray my own boundaries to stay relevant.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. This is a very important post.I am disappointed though because in my society no one talks about mental illness ,bullying ,depression.Its a taboo rather people don’t believe it happens or could it could our own persons.No self help groups no talks no discussions.I believe in public education and making people aware .Thank you for your post

    Liked by 3 people

    1. I agree. It is always kept in house. Most bullying goes without people talking about it and it just continues. I plan to change that with my writing and find a way to educate. There are real links to mental illness and depression. I see it all the time. Thank you for sharing.

      Liked by 1 person

  13. Bullying was the first stage of the development that led me to four and a half years detained under section in a mental hospital. Staying silent and letting my self hate, anxiety, Anorexia and depression developed from the experience build until it was out of control. I spoke about my self hate but rarely said where it had come from. Thing is, even now, when something distressing is happening outside the home it’s near impossible to escape unless you don’t have a phone. It’s plastered over instagram, Facebook, snapchat, whatsapp, twitter- it’s a twenty four hour way to bully where as in past times home became the escape. Definitely speak about what you’re going through. I’d tell people to delete social media but I myself would find the super difficult as for me it cuts good contact and a space for me to post as well as bad! Thanks for this, it’s a super important topic!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I am sorrry to hear that you went through all of that, it couldn’t have been easy. It is such an important topic that we must continue to discuss and share through experience so that we might at some level effect those that have been bullied to let them know its not the whole world. Social media has its place but like you said its a place where someone can be bullied 24/7. Thank you for sharing your story with my blog.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. That is the most important thing, we have to teach our kids to better humans to one another especially now with so much hate, and division in our country. We can do better.

        Liked by 1 person

  14. nicely written.loved the read. more people need to talk about this ongoing issue.

    Like

  15. I have personally exp it, and so have both of my kids. It’s gotten out of hand in the public school system. My son is Learning Disabled and now is being home schooled due to the years of bullying from classmates and teachers. He is still affected by it and we are journaling about it now. The teachers need to listen to the students, take action on the bully right away, and not go after the victim. The principal’s make the bully and the victim shake hands and call each other friends. That’s not realistic and doesn’t solve anything. As a parent it’s heart breaking to see time and time again.
    It’s never okay to tear anyone down. And never okay to gaslighting someone with Mental Illness. We must take a Stand and have a Voice. Be our own advocates and protect those that can’t. Find your voice and stand strong..
    Thank you so much for writing about this world wide problem.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I am sorry to hear about your son. It really is a sad state affairs the levels of bullying in out public school system. Thinking on it a part of the issue is how we view bullying in our video games, movies, television and even in out books. It’s a way of thinking that needs to change because bullying has long term effects on the psychological make up of our kids. I hope your son finds his way. I am working on finding my own voice and I am getting there.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thank you James! And I will see to it that he never has to fear for his life ever again when it comes to his Education at home! There was a school shooting threat at his High School before pulling him out. He had terrible anxiety and bad dreams for a couple weeks. Another reason, we choose to Homeschool.
        We love all the freedom of homeschooling and he gets to make so many great choices on his assignments, and responsibilities! That he can do anything that he puts his mind to and to not accept any less of himself. Terron is 15 and is a great kid. He has so much to offer to the world with his Kind Heart, his Comedian Spirit and his strong will to want better for himself. He’s mature when it comes to sticking up for his friends or family members when anyone is picking on them just for the hell of it. We are implementing Self Love, Acceptance, Coping Skills and Time Management into our curriculum! He loves all of it so far and we have an amazingly stronger bond now that he’s home schooled. It’s like day by day his self esteem is slowly getting better. He isn’t depressed or as anxious as he used to be. And as a parent, I know I made the right choice for him and our family. He will be getting his GED in a couple years and already wants to find a part time job, for extra money. We have met a neighbor that’s elderly and a Veteran! My son plans on mowing his lawn twice a month and spending some quality time with this pleasant man, with my supervision of course! We can also count this as a Common Core class and PE as well! So its a win win for everyone involved! Its importance for me is seeing my son learn to trusts others again, that not all people are bad, but to reach out and help people in need. Ty again James!

        Liked by 2 people

      2. You son sounds so like our’s. Bullies pick on kind warm children because they are jealous of the ability they see in them. A part-time job made all the difference to my son’s life. He was accepted there and had the chance to show his ability and have it acknowledged. He is going, like your son from strength to strength!

        Liked by 1 person

    2. I’m so sorry you and your family have had to go through this. There needs to be zero tolerance of bullying in schools and teachers/principals need to be experts in managing same. “Shaking hands” is not a solution! I can empathise and say it’s been part of our lives for about 15 years but knowledge is power, stay strong & seek out support. We have learned much along the way! Thinking of you. X

      Liked by 1 person

  16. This is an important post covering a very important subject. As a comedian I’m often asked the stereotypical question “We’re you bullied as a child? ” The quick answer is yes. I’m 48 and of the pre techie generation. I thank my luck stars for that. Being able to isolate myself back then meant I got respite from the bullies. I’m male so my bullying would be more physical than psychological. My dad would tell me, “You have to fight them back. Even if you lose, if you fight as hard ad you can they won’t come back for more.” Traumatic as this was he was pretty much right. It’s an approach to life I still maintain. Well done on posting. I’ll write on the subject on my on blog later. (John)

    Liked by 2 people

  17. I also wrote a few months ago my story about bullying in my blog. Bullying caused me anxiety, low self esteem and is really a real trauma. It haunts me forever. I let things go but sometimes when people laugh for example I think they laugh about me. I also was afraif of going to school. I can understand you. You are worth it. It’s just so important to raise awareness about this. Thank you for that. There are even many people who suicide because of being bullied. It’s horrible and need to stop.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. That’s what prompted me to write this piece. I read about an 11 year old killing herself because of bullying. I can’t abide by that and I know writing is how I am able to do my part. Thank you for the kind words, the shared experiences, and for reading my post.

      Liked by 2 people

  18. Nice post James, yes bullying is a big problem that needs discussed all the time to help those that need it. ❤️✌️

    BY FOR NOW

    Like

  19. Verbal abuse is very real and is probably the main reason why I’ve been depressed for five years now. It doesn’t help when that stigma stems from family members either. It just makes it worse, especially if you’re always around them.

    Liked by 1 person

  20. Truth. Its hard enough not being understood by others. It too exhausting to even try to for in because my way of thinking was always different. You’ve inspired me to write about his because it truly shaped me as a loner in life. Off the grid. No social life but people k ow me…smh crazy scenario. 0

    Like

  21. I think communication between parents and kids is a huge deal. Not just for stuff like sex or drinking. I never felt my parents were emotionally available to me to go to them with how I felt. My mother actually read my journal and I had written how I was feeling suicidal and she grounded me. Left me at home for the remainder of the night. Sure she checked on me when she returned but the fact that she grounded me and left instead of trying to talk to me spoke volumes.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That does speak volumes. That’s not the answer to someone who is suicidal. People just don’t understand the bad that comes with not understanding. I am sorry you went through that.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. It’s alright. It just made me see the kind of parent I don’t want to be to my own daughter.

        And I am sorry for all you’ve gone through as well but I think it is great you are sharing your experiences

        Liked by 1 person

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