My Struggles with Social Anxiety and Isolation
The last few have been a struggle for me when it comes to my social anxiety. Leaving the comfort of my house has been almost impossible because I fear the inevitable panic attack. I know this summer was supposed to be when I conquer this part of my mental illness, but the hardest part is not isolating myself to the point where don’t feel comfortable leaving my house. It becomes a comfort zone and one that is not good– it only makes my issues with social anxiety worse.
I am my own worse enemy because I can pretty much work and do school from the comfort of my desk. The last time I went to a coffee shop to work or study was last May when I was finishing my degree. So many things happened to me this summer that kept me from going where I was happy. I moved to the rural area to the city which for me was a big adjustment. I spent the summer writing, and it was great, but I failed to recognize that I was slowly getting comfortable staying home and writing.
I created bad habits that I have to break because the reality is fall and winter are not my best months.
Fall. It is the transitional time of the year that I hate. I can feel the struggle with anxiety start to mix with depression this week, and that is all bad. It culminated on Thursday to a point where I had a panic attack and then struggled with depressed thoughts about letting myself get to this point.
I am not giving up though, and yesterday (Friday) I came up with a list of things that I need to do so that I can begin to change my habits.
- Begin to integrate my workout routine– again.
- Meditate in the morning and in the afternoon.
- Eat healthier.
- Make plans to go out and have a cup of tea or coffee at my favorite coffee shop.
- Focus on sleeping better through the night.
- Restart my bi-weekly therapy appointments.
That last part, getting back to therapy, is perhaps the most important one on the list because during the summer months I tend to get away from therapy because I feel better and energized. My depression is almost non-existent, and I feel the need to forgo therapy. It always ends up hurting me, but I am stubborn.
I think these changes will be good and it should help me to refocus my social anxiety. Wish me luck.
Always Keep Fighting