Middle Ground

Have you ever stood where it felt like middle ground?

Life continues to go around.

Balance is unknown,

living in the bipolar zone.

In between failure and success,

ceasing to express,

instead, I suppress.

True to alcoholic character,

fleeting in a moment’s stress.

I confess.

Will the chains of failure

break if I stay?

Stay to see a successful day.

Defaults stand in my way.

On middle ground do you choose?

If you win or lose.

Not ever being here I stand confused.

Lost and scared

dare I share?

To others, I compare.

Broken and beaten,

strength I have gained.

But pressure is different to maintain.

These fears I contain.

Trusting one’s self after a life of shame,

rather I continue the pain.

Pain self-inflicted,

highly addictive.

Why can’t I see that it is I that do this to me?

With a broken brain and tormented soul,

middle ground is no place for me.

When left up to me,

I chose the pain and its familiarity.

Can’t I choose just not to be me?

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13 Replies to “Middle Ground”

  1. I’m literally speechless. The Middle Ground is a place I don’t understand and yet I choose to stay here. Stuck like limbo, not wanting to go back but afraid to move forward. Everything in shades of grey and laking color, no black or white, dark or light. It carries a feeling of constant unknown. I search and search but can’t find any comfort zone. I’m beginning to think I’m never going to find it at all because it doesn’t exist anymore. I guess I have to create a new one now but it won’t happen here. I do know that.
    All my love for where you are. I know it well. And thank you for the inspiration I was looking for right now. I absolutely love this community of bloggers that’ve found me. ❤️❤️❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I am happy to have given you what you needed. It is definitely a place of unknown for myself and I can’t decide if I can handle the direction I want to go but I also know the pain of the other. It’s a confusing state for me.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I just posted my interpretation of the Middle Ground. I hope you’re not offended that it’s titled the same as your poem. Thank you again for your inspiration!

        Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for reading. I know mental illness isn’t my fault but that doesn’t help to alleviate those feelings, unfortunately.

      Liked by 1 person

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