Mental illness has been shaped as being invisible. The needs of people with mental illness being met has been invisible too. Stop making me invisible. You wouldn’t want it for you.
I figured it was a night for another single dose, so I did that, and still sleep escaped me. Hours had started to pass, and I began to panic that I wouldn’t get enough sleep, it turns out that was the least of my worries. Around 2 am, I decided I had to get some sleep before waking up and did the unthinkable. For the first time in five years, I took a max dosage.
To be in a place where suicide is the only option isn’t as fresh in my mind, but it is the worst feeling I have ever felt in my life. I remember it well. You never forget the depths of the darkness that is suicidal thoughts. The places that my mind went to when my depression was at its darkest was hell, and it felt like there was no escape. I wanted to be anywhere but in my own body.
Fear has caused me to avoid certain situations, like long lines in the grocery store. I feared a panic attack and being stuck with no way out. Trapped. With therapy … Continue reading When Fear Cleared I Found Anger
I’ve read about the mental healthcare systems abroad, some of the “things” that are available (like therapy) and thought a lot about ours. I’m not suggesting that things are rosy … Continue reading The Craziness of Mental Health
Fall and Get Back Up When we fall, we get back up because we do not really have a choice otherwise. This is human nature. It isn’t as easy as … Continue reading Struggle with Self-Doubt
There are times I find that it’s hard for me to accept how things have turned out in life, being 27 and unable to work due to chronic illnesses such … Continue reading Retrospective
Today I will write the final chapter in my Journey to a Diagnosis series. Find the rest of the story here and here. When I got home from the inpatient … Continue reading Journey to a Diagnosis, Part III
Letting go of people is never fun, (especially if it’s over the side of a cliff) yet I am growing, and might I add painstakingly, to realize it’s just a … Continue reading Letting go of toxic relationships.
The end of another month. I can’t believe tomorrow we are starting March of 2018. I am officially six months into this adventure in writing my blog. It has been … Continue reading An Update on my Goals