It was a year after graduating from high school that I was able to break out of my first depression cycle. I started working for my dad part time, and later I found my first job. Things got better after securing my first job. I was an adult finally, and there was so much to look forward to in my life. But my journey and its beginning is not a happy one as I would learn.
It takes every part of me to make the words escape my mouth. “You must stop this,” I yell at the burning man. “Breathe, you must.” He inhales air filling his lungs to capacity, releasing slowly. Everything all around slows, slowly at first. With his every breathe the blurry images passing us by begin to take shape.
I am a regular guy to the outside world. I have always had an affinity for books, writing, and music. I love Japanese food and the anime culture. Korean pop music is my guilty pleasure, and I am learning to speak the language. I would like to move to South Korea in the future or to Japan. It’s funny talking about the future because it wasn’t always a possibility in my life.
Amazing. Thank you. I always keep track of Milestones here on The Bipolar Writer Collaborative blog. It has been a fantastic journey. A year anniversary and 8k followers. I promise … Continue reading To the 8,000 Followers on The Bipolar Writer Blog
I have been very silent about my social anxiety lately. With all my issues over the last month with mania, it just was an outside problem that was unsolvable. It … Continue reading Let’s Talk About J.E.’s Social Anxiety
I, of course, did not come up with that saying, I borrowed it from Jared Padalecki and his AKF campaign. Padalecki has always been an inspiration to me because he has found a way to live with his mental illness and still be productive. At the same time he is open about sharing his experience. It was the AKF campaign that made it possible for me to share my own story.
I figured it was a night for another single dose, so I did that, and still sleep escaped me. Hours had started to pass, and I began to panic that I wouldn’t get enough sleep, it turns out that was the least of my worries. Around 2 am, I decided I had to get some sleep before waking up and did the unthinkable. For the first time in five years, I took a max dosage.
I am inspired by the people that I meet here on WordPress through this blog– The Bipolar Writer blog. The kindness, the human connection, and the inspiring comments that I … Continue reading I am Inspired by You, Everyday
This is another guest blog spot for mental health awareness month for The Bipolar Writer blog. Today is a guest blog from Matthew Kinton. You can find his blog @ https://apparentlyitisgoodtoshare.wordpress.com/ Be … Continue reading Be Open About Your Mental Health
I want to spend the rest of September sharing the stories of others here on The Bipolar Writer blog as guest spots. You can write anonymously if you like, but I would love to share your stories about experiencing the darkness of suicide.
Over the years since, there have been other times when I thought of or threatened to commit suicide. Looking back at those situations, those were probably cries for help or attempts to elicit sympathy. I got to be careful here because I know that this isn’t the case for everybody. The irony here is that during the three years of bullying hell which inspired me to write “He Was Weird,” I never thought of committing suicide. It could have been that I thought someday, I would move out of that town, which I eventually did. Seeing another way out definitely removes any thoughts of ending it all.
My first psychiatrist, who was my psychiatrist from 2007-2012, was prominent in limiting my medication with alternative approaches. While eventually these things did not work as well, and I stopped most of them because of the many psychiatrist changes over the years, these are still important to share.